No, I am not a psychological therapist or a researcher, but I have had a life that people who know about it call “complicated”, which I have decided to call “educational” Then like always I will talk only from my own experiences.
Mental Health
Let's start sharing about entrepreneurs' mental health. The possible “why” and the possible “why for” (you can find about the last one on my blog post “Human Emotions and Business. Does it Matter?”)
“Stop showing up for people who have no interest in your presence. I know your instinct is to do everything to earn the appreciation of those around you, but it’s a boost that steals your time, energy, and mental, and physical health.” Anthony Hopkins
Believe me, this can be very hard when that person is your mom, dad, or both and you firmly believe they need you. My mother was hurt in a car accident that left her quadriplegic when I was eight years old, since then, and for some reason that I was unaware of, I have committed myself to taking care of her, as my father had to work at the factory, sometimes the three shifts.
I was determined to protect her, so my father trained me as a nurse at that age, I was able to do many things to help her “professionally”. But something happened with Mom, something that made her mad at me for the rest of her life, no matter what I did or didn´t do, she was always mad at me, to the point of sharing with people that she only had two sons, my brothers. And even though, I saved her life many times during the forty years of my life I gave to her. I didn’t exist for her as her daughter.
I had to let go of some jobs, close my business for long periods, and stop doing things I wanted to do, and I had to leave my daughter with people who didn’t treat her well, to stay with her at hospitals for weeks or months. One day my mother had a complication with some sloughs that were infected almost reaching her bones, requesting from me time, and money then my ex-husband said to me: your mother or me? I couldn’t leave her in those conditions. Events like these used to happen frequently for forty years, through which she could only offer to me her disdain. I won't get into details as I believe it makes no sense to reach the point. If you are interested in reading more I am sharing more experiences in detail in my book “A Journey with Elite Warriors” and in some classes that we offer in The School of Your Pass for a Better You.
“When you begin to fight for a life with joy, interest, and commitment, not everyone will be ready to follow you in this place. This doesn’t mean you need to change what you are, it means you should let go of the people who aren't ready to accompany you" Anthony Hopkins
If I knew about Hopkins's thoughts maybe I could have done it before. One day I decided to stop showing up. Yes! I did it! I was going through many personal challenges in my life and I was feeling powerless and vulnerable requiring isolation to heal my wounds, then I told Mom; you know that I love you, and if you need me, you just need to take the phone and call me, and I will be here for you. You can bet, but she never called. I kept sending to her place physicians whom she refused to receive. It was hard to do it, but that was the moment I started to live my own life for me and not for someone else who wasn’t interested in my presence. Believe me, it was not easy, and it was not easy to go further, as I was living someone else’s life for years, I wasn’t sure what to do with mine.
How can this affect an entrepreneur's development?
It is consuming your lifetime. Yes! My survival instinct is strong, not only to keep me alive but to keep alive those who need help. Then I won't act only to earn their appreciation I´ll do it because it is about surviving. However, it hurts! Because it steals your time, energy, mental, and physical health. As it is a nonrenewable resource, time is what I value the most! and that was the resource I spent the most as well.
Entrepreneurship Mental Health Crisis?
“In my clinical practice, I see percentages in the range of 80% of entrepreneurs who struggle with a host of personality disorders such as narcissism, sudden wealth syndrome, and impostor syndrome.” Dr Hokemeyer
Researchers say that today there is an Entrepreneurship Mental Health Crisis. Believe me, after my life experiences, I wouldn´t mind suffering with the sudden wealth syndrome.
I wonder if the entrepreneurial lifestyle, you know, when we have risked our financial, relational, intellectual, and emotional capital to pursue is what brings that mental health issues or are our upbringing and past life which season it? Or maybe is the activity “entrepreneurship”, but what about PTSD does it only happen to the military professionals? Is it the pressure of the profession itself? Do we really risk all that capital? or do we become entrepreneurs to keep it alive make it stronger and make a difference? What do you think?
I guess it is important to address here the why! In my case, it is about freedom as I felt myself limited to growing. I mainly became an entrepreneur to take care of my daughter personally and to become wealthy. To get out of the system, be my boss, be free, make my own decisions, take my risks, and invest my most precious asset; time, and money in my business creation, not in someone else's dream. Don’t get me wrong is glorious to contribute to someone else's dream if it is aligned with yours and your core values.
Why did you become an entrepreneur? What brings you to risk all your financial, relational, intellectual, and emotional capital? Are you really risking all that capital? Or are you making it grow from a different perspective?
Physical Health
Maybe your business is not super successful yet, but you bring bread and more to your home from that business or that self-employment job as some successful entrepreneurs call it. You give rewards like vacations to those you love. Look around your house, or look around your business office, all things, anything around you, on your desk, in your living room, your shoes, that pen, wherever your foot is, all those things are money, the result of your business and belongs to you, you made it possible! Some credit you deserve, right?
Definitively, and once again, your personality besides your childhood is involved here. At The School of Your Pass for a Better You, we offer a class to learn about YOU! Self-knowledge, and Self-understanding, where you can find the “why not me!”
Here is the importance of Self-understanding; do you know someone, a friend, or a relative who can live under a bridge and life is still amazing? The same person who leaves you stood up on a date or is always late? The one who wants to be the center of attention all the time and is always happy no matter what? Well, they typically are unaware of “stress” but they “stress” you. They are less subject to health, especially mental issues and I will dare to say, independent of their complicated or not childhood.
“What you think you become. What you feel you attract. What you imagine, you create” Buddha
There is a great physician in Beverly Hills, sorry, I don’t remember his name right now but on his YouTube channel he shared that he lost his hair due to stress. His body stopped testosterone production. In my case when I reproduce those inconvenient thoughts my old lesion in my right leg produces pain. Being under big pressure due to quarantine consequences, one day, suddenly I lost my sight almost completely. I will share this topic in more detail in my podcast soon. This brought me to create a class called “Improve Your Eye Shape” which eventually helped me to recover. Your body is a faithful and reactive soldier always under your command.
“Your wish (thoughts) is my command.” Says your body.
Do you understand and know yourself? Are you conscious of what your commands to your body? Are you living your life intentionally?
In the meantime, you can read more about Entrepreneurial Lifestyle insights on my blog “Zitrev The Alpha Blog” and you can listen to more topics on my podcast “Zitrev Your Pass for a Better You” which is coming soon.
The School of Your Pass for a Better You is currently closed for enrollment, but you can enter your information HERE to get on the waitlist and be notified when doors open again.
See you in the arena…
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