It was a beautiful morning in summer. I woke up in my dearest aunt's home, but how this happened if last night I was preparing my luggage (my pajamas and slingshots) to travel with my parents and brothers to my mother's hometown, Carreras Durango, a little province in the north of my country?

My parents were invited to a wedding, so I was very happy about that trip, as my father frequently planned town trips what I call “pueblear”, to know new places in the province throughout the way and try their food and traditions, my father´s trips were always austere, but we never cared, kids don't care about it, besides they were educational, exciting, and delicious.
I never knew why they decided to take with them only my younger brother who was one year old, probably because my other brother was six and I was eight years old, and we could perfectly stay at home without them for a while.
Then that day, around 1300 hours my brother and I were having a delicious meal with my lovely uncles Trini and Tina, their house was almost opposite ours, and then I heard the telephone ringing at my house. My aunt tried to stop me, but I instantly jumped from the chair and ran home to answer the phone.

One phone call can change your entire life forever
“You will be happy, but first I will make you strong” Life
When I answered the phone, a masculine voice said: my mother is ok, my grandmother is ok, but your father is in jail and your mother is dying! And he hung up the phone!
What! Wait! I saw them last night and everything was perfect! They just forgot to take me, and my brother with them!
I suppose I got in shock as my brain started to think fast trying something, maybe to find an explanation or to be sure that I heard well. I came back to my aunt Tina; I barely remember that I sat down in front of my meal and some tears that were refusing to get out got into the plate. I couldn’t finish my meal I even couldn’t answer my Aunt Tina´s questions about the call.
More than ten months passed or maybe a year to see my father again. He came back home only for a few days without my younger brother and mother. Everything had changed, he was not the same. What is going on?
"A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history." Mahatma Gandhi
Then he left again, I wanted to go with him, but he didn’t speak to me, Aunt Tina did it; you and your brother will stay with us a little more until your dad can be back with your mother and brother, everything will be all right… she looked sad, she loved my mother deeply… we love you so much, and we´ll take care of you and your brother, your uncle and I will need your help, you are smart, and a good girl and I will teach you what you need to learn to help. Then, I wanted to be rebellious, and my dominant personality started to make a presence, questioning why my father didn’t want to talk to us, why he left again, and why my mother didn’t come back. But wait a minute! I have a mission! and so many tasks to learn and perform! that I must learn quickly to help, that way my parents and little brother will come back soon.
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” Maya Angelou
My mom developed fearless courage to claim her life, and my dad an indomitable iron will to claim his family life, I became my father's right hand, so we built an army with one mission in mind, and after many years and more than nine vertebral column surgeries practically experiments, big emotional and physical pain, therapies, private and expensive hospitals, specialists from different countries, allopathic and homeopathic medicine, travels to the end of the world making the impossible possible to improve my mother's health…
I must mention that my mom's mental strength was particularly unique. After being diagnosed quadriplegic and destined to a bed for the rest of her life moving only her head (she was thirty-three years old) throughout the years she successfully recovered her upper body completely and became almost independent, able to cook, knit, crochet, and perform all her tasks in a wheelchair.
Yes! It can be complicated to play the game of life, even more, so to play it successfully when life decides to claim your growth without a ceasefire. In this case, life claimed the growth of my entire family at once, and we fought fearlessness for many years but sadly eventually we succumbed.
Then how to play the game of life? Can it be successfully played?
It can be easier when you count on people who love you or people who want to help without any personal interest but, that is finite! Yes! There were people on the road, no family, who threw us a string, but it was many years of battle and in the end, we found ourselves fighting alone with the terrible wounds we all got in those years of fighting. First, after a last experimental surgery that failed, my mom lost hope in recovering the ability to walk again, after that my dad lost focus, then my brother, and eventually my family was disintegrated. But I refused to be defeated, it was many years in a war to stop, what if...
“Compassion is considered among the greatest of virtues, compassion is a concern for the welfare and wellbeing of others, it embodies a tangible expression of love for those who are suffering.”
It depends on you entirely; it depends on your personality of course but it depends on what your focus is! However, you can’t fight others fights. You can't change others' beliefs, you can't fire their hope or faith, you can only stand on your core values, on your faith and hope, on your strength and focus, and throw the string to pull. You must learn to say no, to stop showing up, and to move on, all of them at the same time throughout the path where life is claiming your growth.
The human spirit is almost unshakeable but once it is broken… Do not confuse love, humbleness, and duty with sacrifice when others have made their decision to stop, you can feel powerless, but you must accept it with empathy, benevolence, and compassion, and hold their hand until their last breath.
So, the answer is yes! You can play the game of life successfully; life took me and my family on this path. Life takes everybody on different paths which doesn’t mean it will be only painful, and complicated, life is dual, so it will be exciting, blessed, and gorgeous at the same time, but depends on where your focus is throughout the path.
Focus on the solution! A phrase that I hear often. Yes! you need to focus on the solution but to find the solution you need to analyze the problem. A dominant task-oriented personality will analyze the problem objectively and then will take care of the emotional, other personalities will analyze the problem involving first emotional appeals.
The non-negotiable facts I needed to solve were to learn and to perform, what is the non.negotiable fact you need to own to solve?
Personality
During that game of life, I gave vent to my emotions with books, I attended any kind of classes that were free, including sports, and board games like chess, working to pay some others, as I was always solicitous my grandfather was willing to help me to pay my tuition or a book I needed.
My grandfather was hermit and quiet, I was the only one honored with his loyalty and support. I used to visit him to watch sports or the History Channel, or to read the newspaper together and he taught me about baseball and his favorite players like El Toro Valenzuela, he used to buy candies for us to enjoy while we watched TV, and he taught me about mechanics and how to drink tequila and beer, he laughed when I tried, and my throat got burned. He barely spoke to me but he said, that is the way to learn how to avoid drinking alcohol. He taught me how to make quince and blackberry liquor. Is always better to sell it than to drink it. So, you will sell it and I will drink it, deal? He laughed.
Aunt Tina taught me the traditional Tepehuanes baking, cooking, knitting, crocheting, making traditional Mexican milk candies called “jamoncillos”, how to make a haircut, how a lady should behave, and more, wow! She was a master in all of those!
Involving all my senses in learning anything I could, was my relief!
Unfortunately, some personalities are easier to persuade like my brother´s personality, and unaware of it, he made connections with inconvenient people who called themselves his friends and took him on a not-very-good path which eventually he left on time. But caused him to abandon his career at the university. He was extremely talented like to become a successful architect.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade
With all due respect, I won’t tell you that! Being in the arena is not easy, less easy if you are unaware of your personality, strengths, and weaknesses. I will throw you the lemons or I will keep them for reserve, that is my survival instinct, some will ignore them, others will share them, and some others waste them. Those are instinctive behaviors, so to be able to make lemonade while you are in the middle of the battle you must get to know and understand yourself first.
“Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.” Maya Angelou
Then your personality´s strengths and weaknesses are determinant to play the game of life in your favor or against. In The School of Your Pass for a Better You we teach a class where you can learn about your personality and how most of our actions, pro actions, or reactions can be predictable.
What is the game of life you are playing? What are the inner tools you own to fight? Are you aware of your weaknesses and strengths? Do you feel like winning or losing the game? Do you have any ace under the sleeve?
I will share on my podcast “Your Pass for a Better You” which is coming soon, more topics about how personalities are involved in your good or inconvenient outcomes.
If you are interested in reading more about Entrepreneurial Life Insights, you can visit my blog “The Alpha Blog”.
The School of Your Pass for a Better You is currently closed for enrollment, but you can enter your information HERE or share our link with a friend, to get on the waitlist and be notified when doors open again.
Strength and honor!
See you in the arena...
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